Sweet Cycles, Sweeter Surrender

August 8, 2017

One full moon night about five years ago, I sat on a balcony in the forest with a friend. Beneath the stars, we shared red wine and chocolate and conversation until the wee hours, reveling at how in the hell we found this place, in this moment, in this time, under this wild volcanic sky. 

Somewhere in the conversation, my friend said, as if it were something that we often say, or even say at all:

"two full moons ago" 

I fell more in love with this magical place in Guatemala in that very moment. With the threading of those four simple words. I'd never lived anywhere where we not only knew the wax and wane of the Moon, but we could also mark our memories with her cycle as my friend had just done.

And so it is...

One full moon ago, I arrived back in Guatemala. In a Full Moon Fire Ceremony on the first night of our retreat, we called in our deepest soulful desires, burned our obstacles in the flames, pulled Goddess cards to guide us and howled unabashedly at the moon. 

It was a powerful start to our retreat together and my time here, as I find myself in the midst of sweet cycles and even sweeter surrender.


The return to Guatemala has also felt like a coming home within, a deeper return to myself and the openness that first brought me here.


I don't know about you, but I've been letting the Moon have her sweet, sweet way with me. And she is unraveling my little world in the most deliciously curious ways.


The surrender has been calling me to the dearest impulses and longings of my heart - the ones I hesitated to hear, because abiding them would be neither easy nor painless.


The surrender has been calling me to the tugging signals of my intuition - the ones I claimed were fuzzy or unclear, because listening would screw up my precious plans and projects.


The surrender has been calling me to come really clean with myself, to get naked with self-honesty and meet my eyes in the mirror. 


The surrender has been calling me to let go of willpower and lists and immerse in the flow and what the universe presents and asks of me.


It's been shaking up my ways of doing and demanding me to find myself in the messy and rich heart of co-creation. It's been calling me to witness the infinitely available creativity right here in the pulsing, present moment. 


The surrender has been asking me to pay attention to the energy of my being. It's been demanding me to honor what enlivens me and let the rest go, let it fall away. It's been asking me to trust in the winks from the universe and risk being the fool if that's the only thing that feels real in the moment.


I'm telling you, the Moon, she's been having her way with me.


And I don't think she's done yet. And I don't think there's any going back from this sweet surrender.


Abide by me, my heart whispers. Even more.


Trust in me, my intuition murmurs. Even more.


Follow me, the universe chimes. Even more. 


Yes. To all of this, yes. Even more. 


What is the full moon stirring tonight in your sweet, precious heart, dear one?

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