On the fourth day of the August retreat in 2023, we started our morning with a Mayan Fire ceremony. Having come out of three powerful days, which we joked had felt like 100 years in our closeness, our retreat group both did not expect - and was primed to receive - what would come to be shared.
As we presented our individual nahuales (our Mayan cosmological energies) based on our birthdays, our Mayan spirit guide Izaias channeled words for each of us. It was one woman’s exact Mayan birthday - a 1 in 260 chance. I had never witnessed a guide so clear in his message to each of the women, including me, as that day.
To me, he spoke of K’at, the sacred fire of life, the net, the weaver, the spider. How I did not have to work this hard for something I wanted. How I did not have to put the weight on my back and carry it alone. How I did not have to hold the vision alone. How I could soften and let myself attract, as is my energy, and receive. And other words that sent tears quietly streaming down my face before we even lit the fire. I already knew what I’d been unwilling to know. What part of my life he was speaking to. And, I knew I could no longer close my eyes.
As a facilitator, I am called to be fluid. After the ceremony, I canceled the writing so as not to be reductive. Because in the wrong moment, too many words are that. Instead, we danced. Each woman to her dance, as each woman to her life. What energy do you have for your life? Only after we had moved for over an hour and lain on the floor, did I ask us to pick up a pen and answer only one question to a personal refrain that has been with me for years, “I don’t know, but if I knew, I know now. What do I know now?” We chose beaded hummingbirds from a basket to remember this moment and our wings.
Hours later, with the visible trace of more emotion in my eyes as we gathered for afternoon circle, I let the group know that I had made a contract that if I am to do this work, I must walk this path. I must stay (or return) as close to myself as I am asking of you. And that during our break, I had made a phone call to ask the toughest question, have the hardest conversation, and finally release a beautiful person I loved who had tried in so many ways to tell me she was not fully into this relationship.
In doing so, I learned how to value and choose myself even when it breaks my heart (but not as much as self-denial). I learned what it means to act in a moment where you stand in your power and you know you are strong enough right now. I saw the way that accepting a divided energy of love had been chipping away at me. I looked around and recognized the divided energy that had crept into other parts of my life. A couple months later, I quit a writing job that was giving me a ‘safety raft’ but drifting me further away from my soul work. And began to unchain from whatever I had allowed to weaken my trust in self.
When I enter this space with you, we are a circle. Often, we already know things we are trying not to know, but we resist the changes this truth will call us to if we admit it. This circle offers a space to reconnect with your heart, clear away whatever is obstructing the signal, validate what you hear, and move more freely from the heart space with trust and faith. It invites us to align with our deepest inner knowing and desires. Not a one of us goes untouched by that when we enter this space, including me. And I would never want to be. This is an ever unfolding journey.
If you are ready to embrace what you already know deep down and attain the clarity that may change or charge up your current path, please join us in The Journey Into Sacred Expression Women’s Retreat. Let’s co-create a magical space that will unfold our next becoming.
And if you need an oasis now to hear through the noise and connect with yourself, please join the weekly women's circle, where we take a moment to listen in, even as we go about our daily lives.
Much love xoxo
Aimee