- Aimee Hansen
"Once I Love Myself..."
Some say, “Once I love myself, I can let in love. But first I need to love myself... First. Once I’m there Once I’ve finished Once I’m whole - Then! Then, I’ll be ready to let love in.” A friend told me A friend told him We are like houses That are never quite done That are perpetually in the works That always have - A room in repair A roof to be patched An outdated floor A creak in the stairs on that one step An extension to be built Walls that could go Wood in need of fresh paint Expansion plans, yet unrealized... Never finished. The kind we all live in The kind we all are And still You can invite guests in to share joy inside of an unfinished space. I suppose unfinished is what leaves room for Love to enter at all... Unless, Maybe you fear Love will come in - Wearing white gloves Inspecting the infrastructure Assessing damage Bouncing up and down on that one damn step Standing in the middle of repairs Standing under the drip in the roof Fixating on faded paint Driving the wrecking ball through walls you kept to hold yourself together Taking too much space, pacing for the extensions you haven’t yet built Reminding you that you were still in middle of things here, before Love rushed the door. And, maybe so. It most definitely at times might feel that way, when barely even a glance is cast or hardly a word is spoken... Love rarely enters a house alone and has been known to beckon ghosts from the walls. But more than anything, the risk you take is this - Love may come in, sit in middle of the unfinished matter of you and looking around with eyes wide open, think, There is unbelievable beauty right here, right now. I see so much beauty. I could linger here, I could stay. And then what will you do, in the real danger now of Love letting you in, or even worse, of Love letting you into yourself? (Aimee Hansen)